You didn’t come this far to squeeze your whole wedding into five frantic hours. This is your era of main character energy, and your wedding weekend deserves the full arc.
We’re talking three days of good wine, black-tie dress code, curated vibes, late-night playlists, signature drinks, and that one bridesmaid who might end up in the pool. 😭 Here’s your unapologetically extra guide to building a weddingweekend itinerary that actually makes sense—and makes memories.
Your Luxury Wedding Weekend Itinerary
Planning a weekend wedding is like conducting a symphony—every detail matters. So we took notes from real experts (like The Guide Gals Podcast ) and gathered our own wedding venue insight to help you avoid common mistakes.
Friday | The Soft Launch
@blackoakmountainvenue Start your wedding weekend with an exhale. Let the dust settle and the kids run wild. Wander the property. Watch the light change. Actually see each other before everything picks up speed. That’s what sets retreat-style venues apart. Photography @liz_zimbelmanphoto Planner @kendall_melissa_events DJ Chris Ore Caterer Bridge House Catering #blackoakexperience #retreatweddingvenue #northerncaliforniawedding #destinationweddingplanning ♬ original sound – BlackOakMountainVineyards
Afternoon
- People roll in. Let them drop their bags, grab a spritz, and decompress.
- Welcome bags that don’t suck (add SPF, snacks, and the itinerary QR code from your wedding website)
- Maybe a wine tasting or a low-key farm-to-table meal at your venue
Evening
- Rehearsal dinner for the inner circle and regrouping with your wedding planner
- Welcome party for everyone else—yes, both.
- Kick off the weekend with a toast or two, but keep it chill.
- Firepit, chill music, and comfy-chic clothes encouraged
Optional pre-fun
- Want to start earlier? We made Sacramento and Lake Tahoe bachelorette guides just for you.
Saturday | The Main Event
Morning
- Brunch bar, iced coffees, steamers on deck
- Hair and makeup, wedding dress zipped, pre-ceremony music playlist in full effect
- Quick email address/text check for vendor updates (because you’re organized like that)
Afternoon
- Ceremony (no pressure, just everyone you love watching you cry in a gorgeous wedding dress)
- Cocktail hour with signature drinks and real snacks (do not serve just olives and crackers)
- Lawn games if you must, lounge seating if you’re cool
Evening
- Wedding reception dinner (buffet or plated—just make sure the meal is hot and delicious)
- First dance, then open dance floor. No excuses.
- Toasts that are short and sweet or edited by a trusted bestie
- Photo booth, late-night bites, maybe a second wedding dress (we love an outfit change!)
- Cut the wedding cake like you’re on the cover of Vogue (Black Oak Vogue, of course 😉)
Sunday | Come Down, Softly
Morning
- Pajama brunch. Yes, actual pajamas.
- Hair of the dog bar (Bloody Marys, matcha, espresso martinis… choose your fighter)
- Recovery station with snacks, water, leftover wedding cake, and electrolytes
Optional add-ons
- Vineyard tour or group picnic with wine tastings
- Lounge and pool vibes if you’re staying at a resort-style estate like Black Oak
Don’t forget
- Check your email address for your honeymoon confirmations
- Wedding registry thank-you sign or takeaway cards
- One last toast
Nearby Places to Extend the Party Before Or After Your Wedding
Let’s say you’re not ready to log off. Smart. Here’s where to go next:
- Napa Valley – 85 miles | Wine-soaked recovery. Spa vibes. Romantic dinners. Yes.
- Lake Tahoe – 100 miles | Cozy cabins, cocktails, and nature (you don’t have to hike if you don’t want to)
- Sacramento – 60 miles | Group brunches, rooftop bars, bachelorette energy
- Yosemite National Park – 150 miles | Natural honeymoon hideaway
Or… just keep the party going right here. Black Oak hosts pre-wedding hangs, post-wedding brunches, a poolside bachelorette party, and yes, styled shoots.
The Facts & Figures | Planning by the Numbers
Here’s how long you actually need for each part of your weekend:
| Event | Time Needed |
| Welcome party | 2–3 hours |
| Ceremony | 20–30 mins (unless your officiant is a storyteller) |
| Dinner + speeches | 2 hours max |
| Dancing | 3–4 hours minimum |
| Brunch | 1.5–2 hours |
If in doubt? Add 15 extra minutes to everything. It’s always worth it.
Guest Counts by Vibe
The sweet spot for weekend weddings tends to be 50–120 guests. That gives you enough people for a full dance floor, but keeps things intimate enough that no one gets lost in the crowd.
If you’re going all weekend, plan for:
- 50–75 guests = More flexibility, great for estate or resort-style venues
- 75–100 guests = Balanced, comfortable for most timelines
- 100–120+ guests = Plan extra time for toasts, meals, and group movement
More guests = more logistics, so consider hiring an additional assistant for your wedding planner if you’re over 100.
Itinerary Cheat Sheet | What to Include
Make it cute. Make it clear. Here’s what your guests need:
| What | Why |
| Locations | Google Maps pins > vague directions |
| Times | Start + end. Save the confusion. |
| Dress code | Be specific. “Garden glam” is not a real outfit. |
| Food + drink details | Mention the buffet, passed apps, late-night snacks, and cake moments |
| Contacts | Add your coordinator/wedding planner’s number and weekend email address or your own if you’re in charge of scheduling |
| Fun stuff | Photo booth hours, first dance time, champagne tower, prime lighting hours |
Where to Build & Print Your Itinerary
Ready to make your itinerary actually look good? You’ve got options:
- Digital itinerary tools: Use your wedding website through Joy, or check out Zola and Minted. They make sharing schedules easy and aesthetic.
- Printed itineraries: Order through Artifact Uprising, Paper Culture, or scroll Etsy for custom designs that match your vibe.
- Need inspo? Browse Here Comes the Guide’s Pinterest or tune into The Guide Gals Podcast for real-talk layout tips and what to actually include.
📨 How to Actually Share Your Itinerary (Without Getting 900 Texts)
You’ve spent hours perfecting your wedding weekend timeline, but how do you make sure guests actually see it?
Share it early, digitally, and often. Your save-the-date is a great first touchpoint. Include a link or QR code to your wedding website where guests can view the full itinerary anytime.
Closer to the big weekend, send a final-day email with the full schedule, Google Maps pins, and any updates (hello, shuttle pickup locations). And no, your group text is not a reliable delivery method.
For printed materials, include a mini itinerary card in your welcome bags or on guest beds. Bonus points if you style it with your weekend’s aesthetic—same fonts, colors, even a little illustration if you’re feeling fancy.
And accessibility matters too—clear fonts, high contrast, and mobile-friendly formatting go a long way, especially for older guests. Save the artsy design for the wedding invitations—make this one super readable.
How to Keep It All On Budget (Without Cutting Fun)
A weekend wedding can be luxe without being chaotic or wallet-crushing. Here’s how to make it all fit:
- Choose an estate venue like Black Oak where the ceremony + reception + recovery brunch all happen in one place
- Opt for a stylish buffet over a five-course plated dinner
- DIY some items (menus, welcome bags, signage), but don’t skip the planner
- Invest in lighting—it elevates your first dance, your wedding photos, and your vibe
Our wedding planning guide covers even more budgeting and itinerary tips if you’re ready to dive deep.
FAQs | Your Wedding Weekend, Answered
How do I plan a wedding weekend schedule?
Start with your core events (rehearsal dinner, ceremony, wedding reception, brunch), then build in padding and optional moments—like wine tastings or bonfires. Use a wedding planner to help orchestrate it all and avoid over-scheduling.
Is the first dance before or after dinner?
Usually, before dinner, right after the couple’s grand entrance. The first dance should be high-energy, get people’s attention, while also being a romantic moment for the two of you.
When should I cut the cake at a wedding?
Plan for 8:30–9:00 PM, once dinner is done but before the dance floor is packed. That way, older guests can enjoy a slice before heading out.
Why do the bride and groom cut the cake together?
It symbolizes unity and teamwork. It’s also one of the few peaceful, still moments you’ll share in front of everyone (with a side of frosting).
When should I have the speeches at a wedding?
During dinner is ideal—space them out between courses so guests stay engaged. Keep them short and heartfelt.
When is the right time to do a champagne tower at a wedding?
Cocktail hour or right after speeches is perfect. It’s a showstopper moment that doesn’t mess with the flow of dinner or dancing.
What time do wedding reception dinners usually start?
Most start between 6:00–6:30 PM, depending on ceremony timing and photos.
When should we do the parent dances at our wedding?
Slot them in after dinner and before the party fully kicks off. This gives them attention while still keeping the energy up.
When should I book key vendors like my hair and makeup artist for the wedding?
Book your HMUA team at least 6–9 months out, and lock in your morning-of schedule at least a month before the big day.
✨ The Wedding Weekend of Your Dreams Is Waiting
If the schedule slides a little or someone shows up to brunch still in heels from the night before… good. That means it worked. You didn’t plan this wedding weekend for perfection. You planned it for connection.
So build the vibe, set the tone, and then let it go. Your only job is to have the best weekend of your life.
And if you need a venue that gets all of this—hi. We’re Black Oak. We host the unforgettable kind of weddings.
